Friendly neighbours
#createrelationships #coachteams
May 2020
I often bring younger colleagues with me on business trips. There is one exercise I always ask them to try: chatting with their neighbour on the plane. 1 point for giving the neighbour their business card and 2 points for getting the neighbour’s contact details; 3 points for the neighbour’s offering his / her businesses card first and requesting theirs. In those days we were travelling business class and airplane configuration was much more conducive to congenial conversations. In hindsight that was the best time for business travel.
Chatting with people comes to me naturally, even chatting with perfect strangers. And I enjoy it tremendously. So I was rather surprised when some male colleagues told me they couldn’t hold a relaxing conversation with a neighbour on the plane, this was after I told them chatting with the property tycoon next to me made my delayed flight more bearable. They (mistakenly) believe men are not supposed to chat up ladies except at a bar so they avoid it at all cost. At least they avoid starting a conversation with ladies in general. Married men feel they have all the more reason to “behave “ and don’t even particularly want to chat with other men. For every person who loves to inspire and be inspired through dialogue, there is another person who fears misunderstanding. Or maybe married life drives all conversation out of them?!
From my experience, there are several types of interesting neighbours that make my flights as inspiring and memorable as the scheduled meetings at the destination.
The Dealmaker is easy to spot as he tends to be the most hard-working of travellers. He is the tycoon with a Forbes ranking, has a face that graced “serious” papers and magazines and works incessantly from his multiple devices. You might not recognise him immediately if his hair dye wears out or if the casual travel attire is not in keeping with his press-ready AGM look. But you can’t miss his energy, drive and fast paced operations. And you will feel the energy. He can always transform any ordinary environment into his office - firing instructions over the phone and via WhatsApp before takeoff, writing his speeches on his laptop. You can have the most pleasant conversation if you keep it short and sweet. Every second counts for the Dealmaker but if you have even one interesting idea, you are worth his time.
The Deal-chaser is the person who chases Dealmakers or deals. Not to be confused with the Dealmaker himself. Dealmakers are people who decide whether or not to pursue a deal. Deal-chasers are the people who line up potential deals, some of them would join the beauty contest judged by the Dealmaker. The Deal-chaser is a professional; he could be a banker, lawyer, accountant, or PR guru who orbit around the Dealmaker. Not among the Dealmaker’s satellites but firmly in the Deal-chaser category are private equity professionals (deal originators) and fund managers. The private equity guy commutes weekly from Hong Kong to China so is the most likely neighbour if you take a Monday or Tuesday morning flight to Beijing. One is likely to score 3 points with a Deal-chaser neighbour as the nature of their business is deal sourcing. The investment banker neighbour is the most willing to chat with other bankers as they naturally want to know more about the competition landscape. Given most banks are not generating enough internal business referrals any contact is useful contact.
The Entertainer has arguably the most recognisable appearance of all, plus they wear fashionable shades and travel with entourage who might not sit in the same cabin. The most telling sign is the random people who request photos and selfies. If lucky enough to be seated next to one, the air hostesses usually offer you another seat with some lame excuses like your TV screen doesn’t work. Not the most engaging travel companion as they have a superhuman need for privacy. 1 point guaranteed, or you could consider a selfie the 2nd point.
The Entertained is usually a professional manager running all sorts of businesses. Sometimes it could be a lady of leisure. By profession they could be the Boss or the Deal-chaser but if they are laid back and choose to enjoy the inflight entertainment or non-business publications, they fall into this category. Receptive to congenial travel conversations and likely to score a 2.
The Boss is the holy grail of travel companions. Guaranteed 3-point win. Civilised and curious, they ask the most questions and are as eager to extract value from their neighbour on the plane as I am. Usually a chairman emeritus or chairman of SOE or professional executives, they are as inspiring as they are keen to be inspired. The Boss may not have the Dealmaker’s coveted Forbes ranking, but he has infinitely more time to chat with his engaging neighbour on the plane. Most often found in First with entourage taking care of his BlackBerry / iPad and bags. Only a moron will fail to learn by osmosis. But with current airplane configuration, no one gets a neighbour in First any more. Boo!
The Apprentice is a young professional, sometimes travelling with a Deal-chaser. He is a fledgling Deal-chaser learning the ropes. He dutifully carries the laptop while the Deal-chaser immersed himself in business or social conversations with other Deal-chasers he runs into at the airport, in the lounge or on the plane. The Apprentice observes and listens intently, only contributes when asked to.